21 June 2020 | Fathers' Day

Mother’s Day, we were in lockdown. I only had my daughter’s hand-painted Mother’s Day card at the beginning of June, when we were able to meet outside. She forgot to put it at the end of the drive on the day, and didn’t want it to get creased in the post. It had different flowers painted on illustrating the ‘virtues of motherhood’. The flowers included lady’s mantle (comfort), angelica (inspiration) and the blue hyacinth (constancy of love).

Now we are approaching Father’s Day with social distancing! So we are going to be nearer each other! Philip will get his cards on the day I imagine, and a permitted visit. I don’t know what those cards will be, but what are the ‘virtues of fatherhood’? In my experience, even people who do not have the experience of the presence of fathers long to know the story about them. Even if their father has not been the role model they should have been, they ache to know in their own lives those qualities a good father should show.

If I think of my own Dad – he always sat down and polished our shoes, taking great trouble over putting on the polish, and spending time vigorously buffing them with special brushes, so when we faced the world we were looking our best. I’m afraid I am not so thorough – a wipe over with one of the all-in-one products is all they get! My father gave me independence – he was the one who let go of my bike when I wasn’t expecting it, so I took off on my own. He was the one who left me in the room at university when I first got there. I suddenly didn’t want to stay, and he walked away saying I could come back home - but only in a few weeks when I had tried! Dad never wasted anything - he would sort out and separate the useful and recyclable, only discarding what was absolutely useless. He was a protector and provider.

The most beautiful picture of fatherhood is the one Jesus gave us in the Parable of the Prodigal Son. A German preacher and theologian, Helmut Thielicke, inspired people to think of it as ‘the Parable of the Waiting Father’. The father in Jesus’ parable gave his son his independence - and when the son went away and made terrific mistakes, the father was nevertheless there waiting for him all the time. When the broken son came back with nothing, the minute the father saw him in the distance he ran to meet him, and immediately enveloped him in his arms.

‘Return of the Prodigal Son’ Rembrandt van Rijn (1606-1669), Hermitage Museum

Rembrandt painted a picture of this moment, called ‘The Return of the Prodigal Son’. Henri Nouwen said the picture could ‘easily have been called ‘The Welcome by the Compassionate Father’. It has become one of the most iconic and treasured pieces of art in the world.

‘Virtues of fatherhood’ can be practised by anyone, regardless of whether they are fathers or not. Marcus Rashford has been talking about the role of provision and being a provider this week in campaigning for children to have free meals vouchers in the school holidays to help struggling parents. By showing what it means to people when they are provided with essential help, he has caused people to talk about issues, and helped inform and change people’s perceptions.

One of the features people have noted about the lockdown is that people have been going to computer sites and accessing all kinds of material about prayer and the Christian faith. This period had given people the space to reflect and think about the big issues of life, the universe and faith.

Over the weeks to come, we hope that we will be able to open up the topics of our faith with people who previously had not thought about its importance and how essential it is. What awareness can we raise, and how can we tap in to the mood of the moment and bring positive strength and hope to people’s lives? How are we able to present the positives of our faith, and enable people, as Jesus did, to see God as 'Abba'? Abba being an intimate address, like Dad, or Daddy, or Papa, or Pops which shows affection and relationship and the great strength of togetherness. Jesus portrayed his Father as waiting and compassionate and ready to provide the best things for a child when they come to him in all honesty and need.

We have all had fathers – hopefully we can help people celebrate the good ones - and commend to them the most caring one of all – ‘Our Father’ to whom all days belong.

Rosemary